Monday, May 22, 2006
i was late todae..all becos i din run from the bus stop..but nvm..i felt that i dun give a damn anymore.. school realli sucks..so much things to do..so much xpectations to meet..so much datelines to follow up..and so much irritatin da bian to face..
nvm if im late..i shall use this to make my dad drive me to school..goin to school by public transport is another sucky thing la..havin to wake up so damn earli..bath..eat..do my hair and such..went out of hse at 6.30..reach school at 7.30 or later..other times i wld run..but i totally heck care todae..muscles achin..body achin..no reason for me to run..
and so i was late juz by that few spilt seconds..i feel pity for the few guys who came and the auntie juz shut the gate on them..then..they let us into the school..ware i saw the irritatin da bian..then the DM..who catch me got my tie..dumb ass..as if i got hands to go tie my tie properly liddat..then stand there and catch this person catch that person..so free liddat..
then they asked us to write dunno wat shit..apologise for being late..then write why am i late..and wat will i do in future..wat do they expect me to write..i left home at 630 u noe..when sum other ppl are still slpin..zzz..and sld i write im late becos i cant be bothered to run??watever shit this is..i came out with stupid stupid reasons why im late..then wat will i do in future..ill never write that i will wake up earlier or leave my hse earlier..i wrote..ask my dad to drive me to school in future..
after that had pe..standin board jump followed by 2.4...this sucks la, i din get 5 pts la..i fell below the 5 pts by a few cm..argh..2.4 was worse lo..15 mins..and 13 seconds...i wonder wat i sld do be4 i can run well..then played bkb..i cant shoot..i cant dribble well..guess i realli sld exercise more than wat i do for trng..
physics lesson was..liddat..began to feel weaker and weaker..giddyness caught hold on me and man i feel like faintin..ive got no strength to write..then i went home..wen to take sign out form with yt..thanks huh..then ask cher to sign in..called my mum to tell her im goin back..then kana nagged by her..sigh..short nag cos i wanan hang up the phone..then went upstairs pass to miss wong to sign..then came down back to THE HELM..met alex..she passed me the petition thing.. PJC students,,pls help to signnnnnn..come look for me if u see this...
went outta sch and took a cab back..cost me 7.90..got home..got nagged at again..mum cook noodles for me..no eggs..she sae eggs will cause my fever to 'linger' on..so..no eggs..sobx..then went to bath and had my medi..mum still nagged on..sayin i sldn't came to this sch..or else dad could drive me to sch..say i sldn't join badminton as itz tires me out..and make me fell sick often..
but i wouldn't have stayed on in pjc if not for badminton
after that i went to catch a nap..a rather long one..where i keep wakin up and dream non stop..the dreams' weird..i dreamt of one riversidian..i dunno who..passed away..be4 that was a boy who passed away for dunno wat reason..when i woke up..my mum told me my uncle had passed away..it hit me again..he was still wel and healthy a few daes ago..when my god ma's son held his weddin..
reminds me of my grandfather..who fell seriously ill suddenly..and i din had a chance to visit him due to o level..this sucks..he was disgnosed with the final stage of lung cancer..though he did not seem to suffer much from pain..in fact almost none..he passed away 3 wks later when doc estimated that he wld live for another 4 wks..i have not even finished my o levels..i still had one more paper to go and he cant hold out that long..he passed away on thurs..after a maths paper..
i regret it..i regret not spendin enough time with him when he came to visit us on the week before he was diagnosed with cancer..i knew i had to spend time with him even if he's not seriously ill..but i jzu forget how to communicate with him like how i did a few yrs back..
same thing goes for my uncle..i did visit him last few months back when he was seriously ill in bed..that was the last time i saw him..then last wk i din attend the weddin..hell me..
that's life?? full of regrets and agonies.. full of god damn obstacles to overcome.. full of never endin problems??
i feel like givin up..on my studies..coming to jc was one of the mistakes i've made and wld never forget..
im admitin defeat even be4 i even start the battle..juz like the irritatin da bians...who condemned us to losin even be4 we play..average c's..and pass in gp..fuck them off..one for all and all for one..i do not wan to drag the whole team down..
de-moralised and devastated..i nid time to tink it through..maybe there's other alternatives...
live with attitude me=huize4:56 PM
